Welcome to another episode of Weekend Writing Warriors (click on the logo above) and Snippet Sunday (click on the logo below.)
We’re still with Roi, right after he has let loose his frustration into his father’s mind, in this snippet from Tourist Trap. Italics within the quote indicate mental communication.
Roi? He felt the surprise in Lai’s mind-voice, and a distinct feeling of — respect? — that he had initiated contact at such a distance.
For once in my life can’t you let me do something I want to do, on my own? Or am I as much your slave as I was Derry’s?
He felt his father flinch at the accusation. What happened, Roi?
We’re gliding down to the plains, I had a minor problem with the wing, and there’s a Company flier pacing me. Get him off me now, or I’ll arrange that we lose the finders.
Blurb for Tourist Trap: A vacation with his three best friends from slavery and a manhood challenge: Roi is given the graduation present he has dreamed of. Dogsledding, hang gliding, a chance to see Pleistocene animals transplanted to a Terraformed vacation world, horseback riding, sailing … all the sports he has returned to with his recovery from paralysis, and a few new ones to learn.
They’re prepared for danger from weather, wild animals and extreme sports. But none of them realize that Roi’s half brother Zhaim, determined to recover his old position as Lai’s heir, intends to kill them if he can—and he’s decided that the dangers of the trip will make a perfect cover for his schemes.
How long will it take them to realize that the “accidents” they keep running into are more than just accidents?
Reviewers of Tourist Trap say:
“Fans of Sue Ann Bowling’s novel Homecoming will not be disappointed with its sequel. Tourist Trap returns the reader to the world of the Jarnian Confederation—to Roi, Lai, Marna, and all of their friends and relations. The author does a stellar job of bringing these characters to life, allowing the reader to not only see their actions but to understand the culture and politics that motivate them. (ForeWord Clarion review)
“Tourist Trap” is a great read for anyone that wants motivation and feeling to accompany the action in their sci-fi adventure. Alien beings and super powers are an integral part of Roi’s story but what makes this novel really shine is the heart. Nobody is good or evil just because that’s their assigned role. Just like in real life, everyone has their own motivations and desires, and Bowling does a great job of letting the reader see what it would be like to walk in the shoes of Roi, Xazhar, and even madman Zhaim. (ReaderViews review)
Tourist Trap (iUniverse, 2011) is available from: Barnes and Noble, iUniverse, and Amazon in dust jacket, trade paper, and e-book formats.
Buy Homecoming from iUniverse
'Homecoming' Blog 
Seems like Roi is a really strong character. Nice 8. 🙂
Strong in some ways, but he’s got some growing up to do.
And the tension builds–great job!
We’re not done yet.
Nice tension building with mental communication. It’s great when readers can sense how the characters are feeling with mental thoughts like this. Good snippet!
Glad you like it, but Roi’s not telling everything he knows.
I see that he isn’t. That makes it even more interesting.
There’s a charm between father/son communication. I love this snippet.
Remember Roi only found out he had a father about 3 years arlier
Nice 8, Sue Ann. Feeling the father/son tension really well.
Roi’s going to dream about this later.
I feel for Roi, but also for his father—his son has been through so much already, it’ll be hard to let go of those protective instincts!
Notice that Roi has not mentioned the screamer.
I did. 🙂
I like that you added that little bit of respect (and the flinch) from his father. it reveals a bit about their relationship.
They’re still feeling each other out.
Roi does come across as a bit of a hotheaded young person but after all he is trying to experience things on his own, so I totally get where he’s coming from in the snippet. Being over protected isn’t what he wants!
At this point the adrenaline from his fight with the glider has taken over his common sense.
Good and natural flow of (mental) dialogue here, and nice touches of detail give a feel for the telepathic medium.
Glad it comes across well.
Nice that he sensed the respect. I admit that I thought it was someone much more sinister than a babysitter that his father had sent. 🙂 Good 8, Sue Ann. 🙂
So did he, at first.
Good tension here.
He’s not through yet.
This bit really shows how well you know Roi. I could just picture him shaking a fist at his father as they spoke 🙂
Not while he’s flying!
An interesting scene which has me wondering how his father is going to react.
Father’s been worried that Roi is not showing enough initiative.What do you think?
Great 8 Sue Ann. I can feel the conflict between the two in the mental dialogue. Well done!
They’re still feeling their way with each other.
What tension in this scene! Well done. I bet there’s more to come.
There certainly is.
Great tension in the conversation revealing their relationship as you further the plot. Well done.
The relationship is a rapidly evolving one.
Minor problem? I wouldn’t call it minor! I hope that plane really does belong to the Company and isn’t part of the ‘accident.’
He’s a teenager, and he doesn’t want his father monitoring him that closely.
I can understand that–being a teen is a pretty constant struggle for independence.
All your meticulous plotting has made me paranoid, though. I almost expect it to be a disguise, and for the plane to try to drive him out of the sky. Or something more tricky and subtle.
Try something more tricky.
Nice job, I can totally “hear” this conversation.
I tried to make it a fairly typical “I can do it myself, Dad” conversation.