Sunday’s the day for snippets from all kinds of authors. To find those posting on Weekend Writing Warriors, click the logo above; for snippet Sunday click the logo below.
I’ve picked 8 sentences from my second published book, Tourist Trap. This follows immediately after last week’s sentences.
Roi swallowed hard and took a couple of deep breaths. “I’m having control problems,” he said. “Stay clear.” His mind was working frantically, trying to make sense of what he thought he’d seen when he started the turn.
Designing a glider was a battle between maneuverability and stability. Performance gliders like their Hangin’ Frees were so unstable in basic design as to be almost unflyable. Micro circuitry controlling cable lengths and fabric curvature made them manageable. If a glider nosed forward too steeply, for instance, the compensation circuit would lengthen the nose cables and warp upward the trailing edges of tail and sail, thus lifting the nose away from the dive.
What did Roi think he saw? Come back next week or buy the book.
Tourist Trap is available from Barnes and Noble or Amazon. The Blurb:
A vacation with his three best friends from slavery and a manhood challenge: Roi is given the graduation present he has dreamed of. Dogsledding, hang gliding, a chance to see Pleistocene animals transplanted to a Terraformed vacation world, horseback riding, sailing … all the sports he has returned to with his recovery from paralysis, and a few new ones to learn.
They’re prepared for danger from weather, wild animals and extreme sports. But none of them realize that Roi’s half brother Zhaim, determined to recover his old position as Lai’s heir, intends to kill them if he can—and he’s decided that the dangers of the trip will make a perfect cover for his schemes.
How long will it take them to realize that the “accidents” they keep running into are more than just accidents?
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Sue, you’ve done an excellent job of taking the description of gliders, something that could be really dull and slow down your book’s narrative, and make it enjoyable to read. That’s not an easy thing to do. You should be very proud of your accomplishment!
Thanks. I’m glad to hear it didn’t come across as an infodump (which it is.)
I missed last week. Is Roi talking to himself or thinking out loud?
Think communications links built into the helmets they are all wearing. He’s answering Penny’s “Are you all right?” from last week.
I agree with Jess—you know your stuff, Sue Ann, and you share it without a hint of info dump. That’s no small talent! 🙂
The compensation circuits were pure sci-fi when I first drafted this, but aircraft engineers are actually working on the stuff I’ll be getting into next week.
Well thought out as always Sue!
Comes of being a scientist most of my working life.
Beautifully thought out technical details, well explained in the context of the story, as the others have said. Another excellent excerpt, which doesn’t impede the flow of the action!
I agree with everyone else–love the details!
As I said, the “compensation” may be coming soon. Please sign in with your URL, btw. You’re hard to find.
They say time seems to slow in moments of crisis.
Well yeah, there’s really nothing I can add, except that it’s a wonderfully realized excerpt and I seriously can’t wait til next week!
Glad it came across as integral to the story.
Great job of working a lot of information into the story in an interesting way!
The book’s out.
Glad it feels interesting.
The technical details just make me wonder why the glider doesn’t seem to be doing what it’s designed to do — and if what he thinks he saw has anything to do with that.
I’m also curious to know (and this may have been explained somewhere already) why he can’t control it with telekinesis?
Why doesn’t he try that immediately? First, because it would be cheating on the physical challenge. He’s decided to use his talents as little as possible, as a challenge to himself. At this point he does not really feel in danger–he’s very good at this, and at this point, being quite a few thousand feet up, he thinks he can figure this out and get down. Later? Well, we’ll get to that.
Thanks for the answer!
Infodump? What a great word. And you’ve done so with aplomb, dear writer. Thanks for yet another insight into your imagination.
Getting background information in is essential in science fiction and fantasy. I’m glad it doesn’t seem to interrupt the flow of the narrative.
Love the detail in this snippet and I want to know what he saw.
Come by next week
I don’t know what he saw, but I’ll be back to find out.
Good I’ll look forward to seeing you.
Intriguing indeed. What did he see? Something on the ground? Or something on his glider? Hmm…
You’ll find out.
Houston, he’s got a problem. Is the picture any kind of clue to what he saw? I’m thinking no, but I had to ask. 😉
No, that’s comet ISON.
I wonder what he saw…and if Zhaim had anything to do with it! I echo the sentiments expressed in earlier comments. Good snippet, Sue Ann. 🙂
Tune in next week for what he thought he saw.
your research on gliders is exceptional and you present it so that it captivates the reader.
As long as I don’t have to fly one!
Great description! Intriguing 8!
Glad you like it.