It’s Sunday again, and time for Weekend Writing Warriors (click on the logo above) and Snippet Sunday (click on the logo below.) Today I’m posting 8 sentences from my first published book, Homecoming available in all formats from Amazon, Barnes and Noble and iUniverse.
Today’s snippet is a direct follow-on from the one last week.
[Derik] found himself lying on his back in the ruins of the chair, with the noon sun beating though his closed eyelids. Hysterical sobbing, intermixed with his own name and Nik’s, was coming from the direction of the pool, and he rolled his head to the side and forced his eyes open.
Vara was coming out of the door, her face white with shock. Nik was huddled on the ground next to the house wall. Derik tried to scramble to his feet, but the ground seemed to be spinning and tilting under him. He managed to pull himself to a sitting position and located the boys: Coryn with his head in his hands, sitting on the edge of the pool, and the other two sprawled on the patio, sopping wet. Roi was shaking violently, but all were breathing. He looked back toward Nik, and gasped with relief as his half -brother made an abortive attempt to rise.
At least they all survived, but what happened?
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Powerful eight. Your description drew me into the scene and I didn’t want to be there. Thanks.
I’m not going to apologize for you’re not wanting to be there!
great job detailing all that’s going on and everyones reaction. pulled me right in
They haven’t figured out what happened yet.
Great 8 to use! Very evocative and pulls the reader right into the scene. Well done!
I’m just taking this scene 8 at a time.
Wow, I’m wondering what DID happen! Beautiful descriptions, full of worry, fear, confusion, and the disorientation that occurs when you try to stand up too quick from a traumatic event. GREAT eight! I’ll be back for more.
Thanks, I’m glad you like it.
Very powerful eight. I want to know what happened!
I’ve decided to keep on this for a while.
Great visual! Man, I want to know what happened, too!!
Wow, powerful. Very vivid description of how everyone was feeling and reacting to what just happened, yet keeping us in the dark as to the exact event – excellent excerpt and I need to know more!
Try the book. (I’m about a third of the way through Dancer of the Nile.)
Wow—talk about being dropped into a scene! 🙂 Now I’m not so sure it was Roi’s doing. . .
You’ll see.
My question too, Sarah, after last week’s snippet. Or was it an earthquake, if so did he cause it. Wow right away I thought, wait, oh my what is happening! Excellent scene Sue Ann.
History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders
Sorry, you’ll have to wait unless you buy the book. (It’s reasonable on Kindle.)
Scary, powerful…very good.
Thanks. They’re half scared for each other and half too shocked to think.
Wonderful! Ditto everyone’s comments from above. What happened? The scene is well described, pulls the reader in and keeps them (us) there wanting more. Great job! 🙂
You’ll find out.
Wonderful, scary, frightening snippet. Certainly pulls the reader into the center of the chaos and makes them wonder, just like the characters, ‘What happened.’ Nicely done.
They’re all (including Roi) wondering what happened, though Derik’s beginning to get an idea.
Visually and emotionally strong. I’m hooked!
Hope you like it enough to read it.
Lots of questions up in the air!
That there are.
So they all survived that bad idea. Now they need to figure out what went wrong so they can never, ever do that again!
After they figure out exactly what was the bad idea.
Yep, I’d like to know what happened too.
They have to figure it out first.
Wow…a powerful 8 indeed. What did happen?
Tune in next week. (and the week after that.)
Well I don’t think I can add anything, except to agree that it’s a strong scene. Kind of seems like a tornado came through but I don’t think that’s it. Have to come back next week, then!
It’s about what they feel like.