It’s Sunday, time for Weekend Writing Warriors (click on the logo above) and Snippet Sunday (click on the logo below.)
My snippet this week is from Homecoming, published in 2010 and available in print and electronic formats from Amazon, Barnes and Noble and iUniverse. Marna has returned to Riya, which was depopulated by a plague two centuries earlier, and is wandering over her home planet. She has just found an isolated stone hut in the desert, and while her eyes are adjusting she lets herself believe she might have found a survivor. I’ve used a little creative punctuation.
Something dark protruded from the sand to her left, and Marna thought at first it was a tree branch, oddly shriveled and distorted. She scuffed her way across the room to try to pull it free, and only then realized that what she held was a hand.
Her knees buckled and she collapsed into the sand, still holding that poor, withered travesty of a R’il’nian hand. She stroked it gently while tears ran down her face and the trained Healer in her mind noted the spread, backward-stretched fingers and bent-back wrist. A plague victim, no doubt hidden from scavengers by the drifting sand and mummified by the heat and dryness of the desert.
Gently she dug the sand away, revealing a contorted body that seemed little more than a skeleton covered by stretched, dried leather. Someone tired of the press of crowds had come here for rest and renewal, perhaps, but had brought the plague along and died in agony, far from any help. Elsewhere, the last to die had been reclaimed by the life of the planet, not even their bones remaining, but here, there had not even been a scavenger to accept the poor body.
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Well done with your 8! Nice set up for world creation and immediate empathy with Marna. Good job!
The world creation has been going on for some time.
You captured me with the first line. An amazing eight filled with emotion and poignant description. Thanks.
She’s been forced to deny her emotions to hold to her last assigned task–to make sure no one leaves the doomed planet to carry the infection elsewhere.
A very moving excerpt. The words conveyed an entire novel’s worth of sad story and this is just one scene. Excellent snippet!
It’s really a bit of the back story on this one. But this section is part of one of my favorite bits for readings.
She is a much kinder soul than I, for I’m pretty sure my first reaction would have been to let go of the hand!
She hasn’t seen another of her species for two centuries.
Interesting snippet – so the plague is over – or is it?
She’s spent most of the last 200 years on an isolation satellite, and has seen no living person since she was forced to return to her planet.
Wow, that was a really powerful snippet. I thought she’d throw the hand away, but she surprised me. Great 8!
It was meant to show some of her reaction to being alive when everyone else has died.
What an emotional snippet! Well done!
Thanks, glad you like it.
Well done. I empathized with her at once.
That’s what I was after.
What grabbed me most was feeling “the heart of a healer” in Marna, as she lovingly stroked the leathery hand of a person who had died alone in agony. Hoping to find rest, but instead enduring agony… it makes me wonder if Marna is going to have a hand in restoring her planet and her people.
You have an amazing gift for creating worlds, Sue – and I love your character, Marna! 🙂
The book is out.
I love the weight of history in your stories.
World building involves either knowing history or inventing it.
Desolation and despair personified.
Well written!
Thanks. Glad you like it.
Powerful bold descriptive world building. Awesome snippet!
Such incredibly detailed description, both of the physical and the emotional aspects of the scene.
I had to leave out a lot, with the 8-sentence limit.
Sue, beautifully written. Tugged on my heart strings, it did.
Glad it reached you.
She’s very kind, and I admire her for what she’s doing, yet I also feel the emotions she experiences. Not easy for anyone. Great 8!
At this point she’s very much alone.
“….Something dark protruded from the sand to her left, and Marna thought at first it was a tree branch, oddly shriveled and distorted. She scuffed her way across the room to try to pull it free, and only then realized that what she held was a hand….” This is wonderful! I didn’t expect the last three words. I need to read your books!
Homecoming’s out, and reasonably prices on Kindle.
Your imagery is always excellent, this week’s post is spooky and sad as well!
Mostly I was trying to get across how alone she is.
Wow. That is an incredible snippet, Sue Ann, just incredible. There is deep emotion in this one. Your prose is beautiful!
Maybe I should put up the next paragraph, though it’ll take some creative punctuation.
This scene is so sad. Is there a risk of her catching the plague too?
You’ll have to read the book.
Fantastic! Powerful and emotional. I definitely felt it. Great 8!
Thanks. It’s a bit from one of my favorite scenes for 5-minute readings.
A moving eight there.
Glad you like it.