It’s Sunday again, time for Weekend Writing Warriors (click on the logo above) and Snippet Sunday (click on the logo below.) You don’t have to comment, but we all like feedback. If I don’t respond, it’s because I had the third (and last) round of chemo on Friday, and I’m coming down fast.
Roi has managed to stop the stampede just before the panicking herd crossed the road into rough country.
The cyclist — the oldest Bateson girl — had caught up with the grazing herd and circled between the animals and the road. She stopped next to Amber, her eyes curious as she got a good look at Roi. “Thanks, Miz Leroy,” she said. “I dunno how you stopped ’em, but I never ‘spected to get the whole herd back safe.”
“Luck,” Amber replied, which was true enough. “This is Roi Laian, an old friend of ours. Can you handle them now?”
The girl nodded, sun-bleached blond pigtails bouncing. “Thank you, too, Mr. Lane,” she said as she turned her cycle toward the grazing animals, pushing them back away from the road.
Once again Horse Power is free today on Kindle, as it will be September 15 and September 29. By that time I hope to have a print version and will pull it off of Amazon Select. So get your free copy while it’s available! I hope my snippets give an idea of the problem faced by the colonists in this science fiction story that doesn’t read at all like most science fiction. Look at the reviews, all 5-star except one that wanted it longer!
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Nice characterisation with such a small word count, I enjoyed the handling of the accent – too many letters dropped and it intrudes on flow, too little and you miss an opportunity to help define the character. You got it just right 🙂
Thanks. The accent is actually a bit of foreshadowing of the linguistic shifts that will take place over the next two centuries.
So good. You capture the scene. I almost caught the scent of horses, pasture, and more.
Be well. Prayers going your way.
No horses yet — that’s why they’re using bicycles.
Great snippet! I particularly like your dialogue; it feels very genuine and true to each character. Hope you start to feel better soon.
This is a planet settled from all over, so the accents are still blending.
I love the little cyclists accent, and her bleach blonde pigtails. So cute! Healing thoughts sent your way!
Not that little — I meant to suggest a teenager.
Lovely imagery, i can just see her on the bike with her pigtails bobbing!
Glad you like it.
i agree, you give just enough details to bring the scene to life visually but I can also fill in some of my own details. Take care of yourself.
Thanks.
Congratulations on the 5-star reviews – I’m really happy for you! Like the other commenters, I instantly liked the sun-bleached pig tailed girl… she really adds to your scene. You’ve created quite a planet… it’s really amazing 🙂
I’m praying for a safe landing for you, as you “come down fast” off the last chemo… and for a quick recovery.
Today and tomorrow should be the worst days — uphill from there. Mostly just weak and tired today. And blood sugar all over the place. Chemo really messes up my diabetes.
Oooh, sci-fi that doesn’t read like it? This is right up my alley. Love the movement and dialogue in these eight. Rest and recuperate, hon. Healing thoughts coming your way.
Try it. Lots of people who think they don’t like SF like my stuff.
I love the feeling of being on Earth – farmland, horses, bicycles – but no, we’re on another world entirely! Really enjoying the story…best wishes re your chemo. Sending a hug!
No horses on this planet — yet!
Wonderful snippet, Sue Ann. 🙂 I so enjoyed this book. Sending healing thoughts…
Thanks. It’s only a short story, really, but a nice bridge to the trilogy I’m working on.
Beaming hugs and best wishes at you. Great snippet and world building. I’m grabbing a copy today.
Thanks. I hope you like it.
I just bought my copy yesterday—you owe me a couple hours sleep, Sue Ann! 😀
I hope that means you liked it.
Mercy, yes.
This is evocative on the country side as I know it. A few words, and you’ve said so much about place and Amber with the sun bleached pig tails. Good snippet.
Except for the herding on bicycles, which as you’ll soon see is a desperation move.
Lovely snippet. Folksy, down to earth–and a surprise! Herding horses with bicycles! Lovely twist! Feel better soon!!
The animals being herded are silkies, a sort of combination of cattle, sheep, vicuna. There aren’t any horses on the planet. Yet.
I could visualize the scene. Well done and I love the accent. It just adds to the character.
She’s also making a change (L’Roi=freedman of Roi to Leroy) that will become fixed in their descendents.
Well done. Nice description and dialogue.
Glad you like it.
I’d be more than a little curious about what just happened, but I suppose you have to be practical. Nice description!
Roi just used mind-touch to stop the stampede.
But *she* doesn’t know that, right? The girl on the bicycle, I mean.
No, and he’s not going to tell her.
Great snippet. Love the dialog and description.
Thanks. It’s be a lot easier with horses, but there aren’t any on the planet.
Wonderful snippet, full of great description. The dialogue is natural, flows and moves the story right along. Can’t wait to read more.
It’ll be free a couple more times.
The contrast of the cycle with the herd and what we’ve seen of this world is truly arresting.
Check the week of the 15th, when it’ll be free again.