Here’s the 3rd six-sentence excerpt from the third book of the trilogy I’m working on, continued from last week. I’m still looking for beta readers.
She [Coralie] turned her head and saw that one of the gray-brown streaks flowed into an unbelievably large tree trunk. The other streaks–she was looking up into the canopy of a forest such as she had never known existed.
They’d been on the ship with the others–she remembered that much–and a man whose expression had frightened her had tried to take Michelle. Then Michelle had been back in her arms and… She frowned. What had happened after that?
Yes, what had happened?
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Ooh. Lots of visual “stimulation” in this scene. You’ve given the reader a real sense of what Coralie is seeing and you’ve done a great job showing her confusion. Excellent six this week, as always. 🙂
Thanks. The whole thing works better together.
She’s confused – and so am I. Dyng to knowjust what happened!
Well, I am still looking for beta readers.
What happened? You’re going to make us wait until next week? Great six!
I’ll keep on this one for a few more weeks.
Very tense, love the descriptions – you convey how confused she is, which makes US confused inagoodway and eager to read more. Terrific six!
I try. Wish I had an agent.
Great set up for her conflict and journey, Sue Ann. 🙂
She has quite a few chapters to go, still.
Hope whatever it is will be cleared up soon
Well, not soon. But eventually, though probably not on SSS.
Poor woman. It’s a nightmare contemplating being stuck in that situation with a small child. Very intriguing.
The beta problem – have you tried offering reciprocal services on a forum for your genre? There must be a lot of writers in the same boat.
Given the situation she was in on the ship…
Tense snippet, she must be so confused. I hope she remembers. Very visual six.
Not so much remembering as figuring out.
I’d like to know ‘What just happened?’ Great visuals in this Sue Ann!
Don’t know if I’ll keep on this long enough you can figure everything out, but a little longer.
Intriguing way to show her confusion. Pulled me right in.
Well, she’s still barely caught her breath.
Nice cliffhanger there. And six days to wonder what happened. 🙂
It’s going to take her a while to figure things out.
Ooh, hate that feeling when you can remember just enough to know you don’t remember it all.
(Wicked grin.)
fantastic six! definitely a reason to turn the page 🙂
Thanks–that’s what I’m trying to do.
Wow – that would be frightening. Suddenly in a strange wild place with a baby! Great conflict! 🙂