Here is the continuation of the scene I have been posting from for the last two weeks. This is from Tourist Trap, published last year and given the Garcia Award for best fiction book of the year. The “he” in the first sentence is Roi, whose arm has just been grabbed and twisted behind his back by his friend, Timi.
When he rolled with the pull, the shift in his weight allowed Zhaim to pull away and struggle back to his feet, shaking with fury.
Roi could hear the sob in Timi’s breath. Timi’s body, yes, but it was Zhaim’s will that twisted his arm so high that his shoulder joint screamed protest, and jammed Timi’s arm across Roi’s throat. The heavier boy’s body pulled him to his feet, and he managed to glance around as he was jerked up. The girls were sprawled bonelessly where they had fallen, their wet clothing plastered to their bodies by the rain. Then Timi swung him around to face Zhaim, and it took all his self-control to keep his head up and his eyes steady on his brother’s.
Zhaim’s face was contorted with rage, and the beamer was shaking visibly in his hand.
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Have I mentioned that I don’t like Zhaim? Looking forward to seeing how the scene plays out from here.
Sorry–from here you have to buy the book.
I’m a total fan girl, I feel like I’m stalking you! another wonderful piece of writing you have shared. Thank you.
That kind of stalking I can live with!
Whoa! I’m with Kate. I don’t like Zhaim either. Yeah, yeah, that’s the point, right? LOL Another tension-filled six with a great hook at the end. Well done, Sue Ann.
Thanks. Think I’ll go back to WIP next week; I used Tourist Trap for a bit to celebrate its award.
I love the imagery of the girls sprawled, it really completed the atmospere and situation you’ve create! Another tense six! 🙂
I loved the image of the girls sprawled bonelessly. It really brought the scene out vividly for me. The rage, the situation, the atmosphere. Another tense six!
I did some scene setting earlier, with the group slogging through the forest in the rain.
Intense six yet again! The description of the girls was excellent, great excerpt!
Thanks.
Gruesome and intense scene. Not a brother I’d invite to my home. 🙂
Half brother, and very resentful of Roi’s taking his place as their father’s heir.
I felt this guy’s shoulder pain! Love your description about how is face was contorted with rage. Good stuff, Sue Ann. Great writing!
At least he’s not the only one with a sore shoulder.
Yikes! Excellent description of action and atmosphere.
Yes, it kind of sucks to have a telepath take over the body of your best friend.
Really great, vivid scene here!
I try to see what’s happening through my POV character’s senses.
Excellent stuff, Sue Ann. Very nice 6.
I try!
Congratulations on the award, and now I have to go ice my shoulder. 🙂
Well, Zhaim’s going to have a sore shoulder too. (Though I don’t feel sorry for him.)
Very visual, l was right there watching helplessly!
Wow, great description! Awesome 6 😀