Following on from last week, here are sentences 7-12 from the rewritten first chapter of Rescue Operation.
“Roi,” [Keishala] said, “it can’t be that bad. You’ve only been gone for a month. And Zhaim’s competent enough, even if you don’t like him.”
Emeraude, twenty years younger than Keishala, unwound her bitter-chocolate body from the exercise bars and pulled loose the scarf that had held her beige hair. “What happened?” she asked.
“Zhaim ‘solved’ the problem of Horizon’s not paying its dues by authorizing one of the big slaving companies to collect them—in people.”
I’d really appreciate comments on this.
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Good descriptions. Nice six.
Oh, yes, that does sound bad! Great 6!
Wonderful writing as always!
You’ve piked my interest already. Great six.
Great six and oh yes, it can be that bad!
Interesting with the collecting in ‘people’!
Another chilling insight into their world. Love the “bitter-chocolate body.”
Slaving makes him competent? Interesting to see how that works out. Thanks for sharing!
The “competent” came before Keishala realized Zhaim had authorized slaving. And take a look at our own pre-Civil War history, and some of the arguements then. For that matter, some of those mindsets lasted until well after the Civil war was over, and even echo today.
Historically accurate: people were collateral Back in the Day, even now, and not inconceivably in the future. Chilling, because it feels real.
I particularly loved the “bitter-chocolate body” phrasing. This is intriguing!
Right now, all I’m trying to get across is that skin and hair color vary all over the place and are considered no more important than blue eyes vs brown.
Hmm, Zhaim may be competent but he doesn’t sound like a nice fellow. Interesting snippet!
“Nice” is not a word I would ever apply to Zhaim! He has his own twisted logic, though.