This is a direct follow-on from last week, but the point of view character is now Amber.
Cold. So cold. One of the others must have rolled up in all the covers, or she’d rolled away from them, somehow. Amber reached out, seeking the warmth of other bodies, and found only sand and rounded pebbles. Driven by an urgency she did not understand, she managed to roll onto her side and open her eyes to the night.
Starlight blazed overhead, waking faint echoes in the river washing over her feet and legs.
Tourist Trap is now listed on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, by the way, and I have my first author copy.
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I love the last line and the anxiety you have through the snippet. Thank you for a great six.
wow. great hook, I definitely want more
“Starlight blazed overhead, waking faint echoes in the river washing over her feet and legs.” That’s a gorgeous sentence! Well done!
WTH…how did she end up in the water? Great six!
Uh-oh… only magnify that feeling with each line, as expectation meets reality with that nasty little side-slip that says Things Are Not Right Here. Nicely done. Now I want the Before and the After both.
This is very thought provoking. Great six.
Uh-oh – that can’t be good!
SOmething tells me that this isn’t where she thought she’d be
Very nice, especially that last line, but I found it distracting that you used *roll* three times in six sentences 🙂
Oh, no, I get the feeling this is not a good thing. How’d she end up with her feet and legs in water?
Very intriguing six! Need to read more 🙂
The whole scene takes about 5 minutes to read aloud, but broken into six sentence fragments it could take me eight more weeks (though the last week would have only 4 sentences.) Want me to continue for the rest of the scene, or start with a WIP, since this is now published?