Climate Change (2000, to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through the snow,
On snow machine or skis,
Grass is poking through,
Send a blizzard, please!
It’s balmy in the North
While snowstorms rage Outside,
Please, Santa, all we want this year
Is snowfall, far and wide.

Climate change, climate change,
Wind and ice and snow,
Not much here in Fairbanks town
Wherever did they go?
Climate change, climate change,
Wind and ice and snow,
Should retreat to polar caps,
But tell them Down Below!

Note that “Outside” and “down Below” in Alaska are shorthand for the contiguous 48 states. I thought this carol was appropriate today, the weather in the 48 states being what it is.